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Here all of you dedicated Chloe fans can find the latest two editions of the real SMALLVILLE HIGH TORCH, updated every week for maximum access to real Smallville news! Enjoy!

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Volume 50, Issue 54

BEANERY LOSING ITS MAGIC?
By Heather Riggs

What do you do after school in Smallville? Take care of chores...walk the dog...toil over homework...sit on the couch contemplating which comic book superheroes could beat up the others. If these are your answers to that question, you're not alone!

With the closure of the Talon, students at SHS are left with one option for a hangout here in town. The result? Forced exclusive socialization at The Beanery. The Beanery, once the hottest teen spot in town, is rapidly drifting towards "passé city." It is a well-known fact that the younger members of society gravitate to new places, and this initial push gave The Beanery immediate success. But the one-time staple has been losing customers. Many blame recent shoddy service, while others believe the trend is something far more extreme.

"I think kids today want more than just a coffeehouse," says SHS student Pete Ross. In the past, Ross has frequented The Beanery, but he now opts for spending time at friends' houses. Rachel Woodward, another former customer, said that she would still go to The Beanery if the atmosphere were more diverse. "I think a place for local garage bands, poetry readings or funky art would be cool," Woodward said. "All The Beanery offers now is ground beans! I'd rather be at home grounded--my parents would probably provide a better atmosphere! I can even get coffee there...and it won't cost me $3.60 a cup!"

Sadly, the teen-hangout market is still cornered by The Beanery. And unless another venue is opened soon, SHS students may be forced to order a low-fun latte or, worse yet, a grande iced social life.

HOME SWEET HOSPITAL
By Chloe Sullivan

My recent confinement to the Smallville Medical Center has ended without incident, and I was released, having been charged an arm and a leg--and I don't mean the ones that were injured! I am still very grateful for the attention of the faceless myriad of doctors and nurses who assisted me during my stay. Fortunately, I'm finally shaking off the effects of hospital guess-the-meat-of-the-day meals. (If given the choice, I would have dined solely on my IV drip.) I even had sleep issues, learning that "stationary" is really "uncomfortable" in hospitalese.

Comfort issues aside, I came to a realization while living in the Hall of Health. Hospitals are designed to be a haven for the sick and injured. But do they work? Does secluding the sick with the sick, the injured with the injured, for an extended period of time promote recovery? I needed the hospital. I'm not too proud to admit that. I was seriously injured, and my life was in jeopardy. Thanks to the medical services provided me, my life was saved, and my injuries taken care of quickly and efficiently. But after spending several days in recovery, listening to the hypochondriac complaints of the patients that surrounded me, I wanted out! My injuries were treated, yet I was still there! Why? Is this actually an effort by hospitals to force patients to pay extra fees that aren't really necessary in the grand name of "further observation?"

In the late 1800s to early 1900s, hospitals weren't nearly as prevalent as they are today, particularly in towns like our beloved Smallville. Instead, the town doctor visited the patient's home, made the diagnosis and prescribed the remedy. Patients generally recovered in privacy, without having to sit in a little room, dressed in a backwards cape, telling a nurse that they don't need anything, every hour for four days.

Don't misunderstand me, however. I am not calling for an outright closure of hospitals. And I am certainly not suggesting we return to the prehistoric medical-torture methods of C-clamps, hand drills and bourbon anesthetic. Few people support the utilization of modern technology more than I do, and hospitals are the Mecca for new technological applications. But wouldn't I have recovered just as quickly at home after one night in the hospital, away from some of the other patients who were abusing the hospital in an effort to get attention? And it would have been cheaper for my insurance and family. Perhaps it is time to reintroduce the idea of house-calling doctors for patients who do not need the advanced services of a hospital for extended recovery and would enjoy the comforts of their home.

BOOK UPDATE
By Pete Ross

I'm happy to report that the battle for better textbooks is a fight that Smallville High students are taking very seriously. After my last column, I received a flood of e-mails from readers. Here's what a few of you had to say. After you read them, I have a surprise.

Senior Dawn Wellington writes in and suggests this: "Maybe have a date or handyman raffle with the jocks or something? You know, highest bidder gets free labor for a day." That could work, but unfortunately, we'd still be several hundred thousand dollars short of our monetary goal. It would be a good start though. So would other ideas like bake sales and a beverage counter at the football and basketball games, as suggested by Louie Quantum.

Junior Edie Starstrom, who attended Eisenhower High last year, told us that the students there challenged local businesses to match the money they raised. "We reminded them that we're their future workers and that they only want to hire the best. Helping us get new textbooks would go a long way towards ensuring that we are the best."

A respondent using the pseudonym Lagrepus (what kind of name is that?) reports this: "I have a geography textbook that says there is still an East Germany! I mean, please, the school needs to keep up with the ever-changing world."

And now for the good news, fellow Crows. I forwarded several of your e-mails to delegate Catherine Jeanette, and I received the following reply--a far cry from our last correspondence.

"Dear Pete, thank you very much for providing me with the background I need to get to the bottom of this problem. I would be more than happy to help you. I have spoken with the education subcommittee, and we hope to present this issue to the legislature on March 19th. You are invited to the State House to see the legislature in action, if you would be interested."

I must say, I'm impressed and a little in awe of the idea that our words could make a difference. Without your e-mails and suggestions, this may not have even been possible. Thanks to everyone for a job well done! Now we don't have to storm the State House. We've been invited.

Round one has been won, my friends. We can make this work!

Volume 50, Issue 55

LEAVING THE NEST
By Pete Ross

You stood in line. You paid your money. You got your obligatory gray shirt/red shorts gym uniform, successfully avoiding extra pushups on the first day of class. And if you are like most students, you haven't gone back to the Crow's Nest Student Store since that first week of school. Why not? Is it because you are scared of the ever-efficient yet colder-than-steel store management?

No one has a greater passion for selling Smallville swag than store manager Stan Gibson. But even Stan admits that he possesses lousy people skills. Consequently, many students don't feel comfortable purchasing items where it seems the store motto is "you're in our way." As a result, the Nest has been seeing a decline in revenue. So it came as no surprise this week when the store's faculty advisor, Ms. Ferguson, announced that Stan's involvement in the day-to-day operations has been reduced, and a new co-manager, Brad Jacobson, will share the Crow-hawking duties.

"We don't want students to feel like coming into our little shop is a chore," Ferguson said. "We figure that Brad can help create a warmer atmosphere, while Stan continues to run things in the most efficient fashion possible."

When asked for comment, Stan replied with "whatever," while Brad held a much more optimistic view. "I think it's great! The Crow's Nest has a lot of cool merchandise to offer. It's more than pennants and pencils. There's a lot of great stuff!"

Whether this change in management is effective remains to be seen. But it's worth giving the store another chance. And if you still hate the place, then you don't have to return until you're a senior buying your class ring.

AN OPEN LETTER TO SMALLVILLE HIGH STUDENTS
By Lana Lang

Dear Students of Smallville High,

This week, we celebrated the grand reopening of The Talon Movie Theater and Coffee House. I wish to express my deep gratitude to a few individuals, without whom this event would not have succeeded.

First and foremost, thanks to Lex Luthor for his financial backing of the remodeling and reopening. I appreciate his prodding as well, which got me motivated to really pursue this endeavor.

I'd also like to thank Clark Kent for his unending support during times of leaks, breaks and other unmentionable disasters.

Thanks to the dozens of carpenters, plumbers and electricians whose skill and time brought the Talon up to code and returned it to its original splendor.

And a big thanks to you, the students of Smallville High, for supporting me and the Talon at our opening night gala. I hope you will find it a nice place to "hang" and will come back often.

A few weeks ago, I talked about the importance of adding to our communities and this week saw it in full force. I saw a community of heroes come to my aid and help me fulfill a dream. Thank you, Smallville.

As an expression of my appreciation, receive 15% off your order at the Talon when you present this issue.

Thank you again!

VICE VERSA DANCE THEME WINNER CHOSEN...MAYBE
By Chloe Sullivan

The votes have been tabulated, and you have spoken. The theme for the Vice Versa Dance this year is...Old School Hollywood--we hope.

Old School Hollywood narrowly edged out the Superheroes theme, but Principal Kwan has voiced some concern over the potential costs involved in an Old School Hollywood-themed event. "Tuxes are for proms. I think the idea is great, but it could place undue pressure on people to rent a tuxedo or a costume. The Vice Versa dance is supposed to be casual."

Ways and Means Chair Ellen Rydzewski argued that the theme provides a great opportunity for the student body to come up with creative solutions to the cost issues. Lana Lang has offered the newly remodeled Talon as a venue for the event, free of charge.

"I hope they let us do it," commented Rydzewski. "Partying old school would be so much fun--my grandma and mom were so excited, they made me sit down with them and watch 'Singing in the Rain' to get ideas. Cool flick, BTW!"

 

 


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